The older I get the more I realize I don't like the idea of New Year's resolutions. I think the idea sets people up for failure. I think it is just the word I mean think about it.
A person makes a resolution to change something, stop doing something, improve on something or whatever. Let's use exercise as a resolution example. January 1st comes and off they go...they are doing their best and then something happens, they get sick, a kid gets sick or they are just too busy one week and they don't get to exercise. Alot of people think oh well my resolution is broken so they don't try to get back to their resolution, but if it would have been a GOAL I think people would stick with it better. I know I plan on having a few goals this year and the great thing about my goals are I can always work at achieving them or if I do achieve it I can advance the goal to make it something more for me to work on.
I believe having goals is a good thing and if you don't have something to work towards then your life will become stagnant and you'll get bored. Nothing is worse than being bored in your life. I think goals can be for any part of your life or can be for all parts of your life. This year I am setting goals is multiple areas of my life....some of those areas are: Personal growth, my Health, my parenting skills/actions, Time for myself, time for Brian and I (sans kids), and my Religious life. Goodness only knows what else I'll come up with but since they are goals and not resolutions I can keep adding to and changing my goals.
Some of the goals I have set up for this year is to:
1. Get up before the rest of the house, getting ready for the day and having time by myself. Whether I use this time for making lunches, just having coffee, doing reading, playing on the computer, or whatever I choose it is meant so that when the rest of the house is starting to get moving I don't feel rushed or that I don't have time to snuggle, play, or do whatever to start the day off positively for my kids and Brian and I. I started trying to do this the couple of weeks before Christmas break and I really did enjoy it (when Lili didn't wake up early and stop my alone time ;))
One thing I need to make sure I do in my "me" time in the morning is to make my list of things I want to get accomplished for the day. I am a list person and normally have at least one list going at all times but I think I need to do a more overall list for the week or even month and then a list for an individual day when I know what I have to face that day. Luckily one of the things I got for Christmas is a daily calendar that has a place for a list of things to do. So now to make sure I use it!
2. In the category of Personal Growth....I need to find a book of daily affirmations, thought for a women, something so that I can start my day off with a positive thought and hope it continues. I also need to start reading more. I enjoy reading and when I do it I always wish I would do it more.....for me this means I need to start turning off the TV in the evenings or during the kids quiet time and actually read for enjoyment. I would like to try to read at least one non fiction and even one fiction book a month. I am not much for reading more than one book at the same time but if it's one non fiction and one fiction I think I might be able to do....at least it's a goal for me :)
3. For my Parenting skills/actions goal I want to try to lessen my screaming and increasing my interaction with my kids. I know I interact with my kids all the time but as the boys (and Lili) are getting bigger it seems like I have them go and play by themselves or with each other more and more and I am playing with them less and less. Around Thanksgiving Brian and I started at least one night a week having it be family game night. We would pull out Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Fire Station Dalmatian or any other "kid friendly" game that we have. We have really enjoyed this but I need to start playing more imagination games with the kids. Whether we are playing with their Legos (which is have ALOT of) or their other toys I feel like sometimes I am just doing the regular house work and I'm not taking the time to enjoy my kids and their childhoods. I think I need to color more and do more playdoh and just be a kid sometimes.
4. My personal Health goal is what most people's is at this time of year...I need to start exercising and eating better. I always say..."when the weather gets better I'll walk more" well the weather gets better and we walk a couple nights in a row and then something happens and we don't and then we don't get started again. I am tired of this and I need to just bite the bullet and join the gym. This is make me feel like I have to go b/c I am paying money to do it. I think this will help me with my time for me - because I can't take the kids exercising with me...even if they are at the "daycare" at the gym plus I will feel better. I want Brian to join with me, even if we don't ever work out together, because I think if he is able to start going before or after work, or at lunch than his stress level will lessen also. I don't like it when he's stressed....especially when it is over stuff I can't help with.
5. Our Religious Goal is to try to get more involved in Church....starting with attending more regularly. It is so hard for us in the winter because it seems like every time we go and it's wintertime one of our kids end up sick so after because of some well meaning older person who likes to touch my kids. I just have to go and not let them be touched...and not worry about offending someone. BJ is in Religious Ed now and I know it better for all of us to go to church on Sunday mornings (or even Saturday afternoons) it just once again is getting into the habit of it. Hence the reason for the goal.
6. And my last goal I think I'll write about today is one that I have some of the strongest feelings about. It's the more time for Brian and I (without kids). With us know having family in the area and not really knowing many kids old enough for babysitting Brian and I have only left the kids with "sitters" a couple times in the 6 1/2 yrs we've had kids. The main times we've left our kids is when my parents are in town and they are at the house. I need to find one or two people that I can hire as babysitters. I have friends who will keep them every once in a while but I would LOVE to find someone that I can set up at least once a month a time to have them come over and watch the kids while Brian and I got away. A movie, dinner, something! So I have to start working on this one.
Well I think I've rambled enough for now. Off to family time and family bowling for New Years Eve.
I started a list process a few years ago that worked really well for me - and Ben actually says I'm better off if I have a list...although he doesn't want me to have anything on that list for him to do! HA!
ReplyDeleteI used an excel spreadsheet, but you can use word, or whatever. I set it up so that I could print it out once a week, and then write in additional stuff along the way. If I knew I had an appt that required me taking certain items, or that required prep ahead of time, I would annotate on the day prior to remind myself. Then of course, I had my things that I needed to do on certain days on there. But the reason this really worked well for me was that I maintained a separate area on the sheet for "Things to Do", that didn't need to be done on a specific day. That way I had a continual list to maintain on those more long term goals.
AND - I wholeheartedly support you and Brian having a date night - and using a BABYSITTER!!!!